NO BANK BAILOUT FOR THE LITTLE GUY

During the Bank Bailout of 2008, everyone were friends, holding hands singing kumbaya, when they believed that the economy was going to crash. Everyone was afraid. What jobs are we going to have? Where are we going to go? What are we going to do? The bluecollared and white collared workers were united in fear. Without jobs, who was going to pay for the Armani suits, and the Italian shoes? Who's gonna go out for drinks and tip the waitstaff? In the middle of this confusion, an unknown bartender artist continues to paint on. And in an effort to commemorate the newfound friendships, she paints a series portraits for the wealthy bankers and CEOs of a local bar. One of the bankers, O’Sully, who got laid off kept telling the bartender his woes. Then the bartender artist also got laid off. They kept in touch, everyone had to keep in touch. Everyone were friends. The artist, no longer a bartender, lost her home. Jobless, she is sheltered by her friends. She gathers up her resources and hosts an art opening, an intimate gathering of friends. She also invites O’Sully even though she knew the guy couldn’t buy anything. During the first day of the opening, O’Sully came by and admired the paintings. He kept saying, if only he had a job he would purchase one of the paintings, which he thinks looks like him. During the second day of the opening, an obsessed x of the artist came by to take a look at the paintings. He still harbored some anger over the manner in which they broke up. It hurt his pride that he was a top exec who got dumped by a little nobody. A few paintings sold, but not enough to get the artist out of living off of her friends’ couches. So she concocted a plan that would help everyone win. It was brilliant. She forwards O’Sully’s resume to her X. Lo and behold her X had a “job” lined up for O’Sully. X’s company interviews O’Sully. There were 9 sets of interviews. Each interview was more difficult than the last. O’Sully was even placed in hot tortured chamber where he was forced to solve a puzzle while being stared at by all the people who worked for the company. After the final torture, and any more torture would be a bit too bizarre after that, he had his secretary call O’Sully. The boss is gone this week but he will call you next week. And next week would come up and same story. O’Sully was desperate and kept bugging the artist. The artist felt responsible for the torture O’Sully was going through. This same torture went on for four months. Every few weeks O’Sully would practically beg the artist for her help in getting the job. Feeling responsible for the torture O’Sully was going through, She goes to the bar and talks to her old banker/exec friends to get some advice. They asked questions like how much would she get if she helps O’Sully get a job? She said, O’Sully will buy a painting. How much is the painting? $700. They laughed. That’s the cheapest placement fee in they’ve ever heard of. In the corporate world, getting a job has a normal finder’s fee of up to 20% of the year’s salary! It’s a common practice. Your friend O’Sully is f*cking you over, and X knows that. Make a deal with O’Sully and get a fee on top of purchasing the painting. Then get in touch with X. EVERYONE WINS! BANK BAILOUT! So she calls up O’Sully who promises to pay up a fee and purchase the painting. Then she calls up her X who says, Come and see me. So she came to see him. Two weeks later, O’Sully gets a job. Things didn’t work out between X and the artist. He was X because of the same reason why he was X to begin with. O’Sully never pays up. He’s a typical Wallstreet cat. No contract signed? Not a real deal. A friend? What friend? Everyone Wins??! Sorry. X couldn’t care less. Doubly F*cked. So a year later, O’Sully is buying Armani suits, and Italian suits again. The artist is still sleeping in the couch of friends, still jobless. NO BAILOUT FOR THE LITTLE GUY The artist tried to donate the painting to the cancer society. Even the cancer society didn’t want the painting. Too much baggage they said. Wall street people are cancerous. The painting was later burnt at an Occupy Wall St movement